Make your own free website on Tripod.com

English Junkie Site

Home | English Links

Homonym Jokes

These are some jokes from this book:
"Eight Ate: A Feast of Homonym Riddles"
by Marvin Terban  Eight Ate: A Feast of Homonym Riddles

If four couples went to a restaurant, how many people dined?         
Eight ate.
 
What do you call a smelly chicken? 
A foul fowl.
 
What is a reddish-purple vegetable that is all worn out?
A beat beet.
 
What do you say in the evening to a soldier in shining armor?
"Night-night, Knight!"
 
What would we do if we found bad plants spoiling our lawn?
We'd weed.
 
How do you say, "Run away, small jumping insect that lives on a dog!"?
"Flee, flea!"
 
What is an animal with a rough-sounding voice that cowboys ride?
A hoarse horse.
 
What is a complete opening in the ground?
A whole hole.
 
What marks are left by the messy fingers of the king's son?
Prince prints.
 
What did the fancy flying machine call the undecorated one?
A plain plane.
 
What do you call a less expensive bird?
A cheaper cheeper.
 
What is a small group of musicians that isn't allowed to play?
A banned band.
 
What do you call a bucket that has seen a ghost?
A pale pail.
 
How did the plate introduce the potatoes to the steak?
"Meet meat!"
 
What is a large animal with thick fur but no clothes on?
A bare bear.
 
What on your face is first aware of a good smell?
The nose knows.
 
What is perfume that is mailed?
Sent scent.
 
What did the math student shout when he added up all the numbers?
"Some sum!"
 
What is the loud, sad crying of the biggest animal in the ocean?
A whale wail.
 
Two ran the race, but only...
One won.
 
If they are not here, where are they?
They're there!
 
What do you call the totally uninterested directors of a company?
A bored board.
 
What is rabbit fur?
Hare hair.
 
When two couples go to a restaurant together, they ask for a table...
For four.
 
What do you use to make blossom bread and petal pie?
Flower four.
 
Why didn't the cloud of very fine drops wet us?
The mist missed.
 
What did the teacher say to Orville when his letters slanted too much to the left?
"Write right, Wright!"
 
If you don't listen over there, where should you listen?
Hear here!
 
What does the man who looks at oceans do all day?
Sees seas.
 
If a big rock is brave, what do you call one that is even braver?
A bolder boulder.
 
What do you call a hot drink on the golf course?
Tee tea.
 
What is clam strength?
Mussel muscle.

And many, many more!